This is my family tradition

Holidays are always interesting for my family. I have said it countless times on the way to, while I am at, and on the way home from these family gatherings that the only reason I associate with some of these people is that I am somewhat related to these people.

My mom's only sister and her family are great. I associate with these two cousins, my aunt, and my uncle freely and often. That's where the normalcy ends on my mom's side of the family. Our family tradition dictates that we must associate with my mom's and my aunt's cousin's. It has been a long standing practice to place wagers on the extended side of my mom's family. Some of the wagers that have been placed in the past are telling about these cousins:

• Will the eldest cousin's [He's 60ish] toupee be on straight? [Never happens]
  
• Will his 3XL shirt purchased from Wal-Mart still have the tag on? [Yes]
  
• Will the 3XL shirt that we saw at Easter with the Wal-Mart tags be worn at Thanksgiving? [It was, still with tags]
  

Several years ago, the 16 year old daughter of my mom's cousin [I guess that makes her my third cousin] mysteriously disappeared from the family gatherings for a whole year. Her parents told us that she was with friends and that she sends her best. Keeping with the family tradition, I proposed a plausible reason on why she was gone, but no one in the family was willing to buy my explanation. The bet? The next time we see her she will have a child.

The next time she came to a holiday the first thing I managed to say was that her baby was really cute.

The upsetting thing of this whole situation was that the next time she pulled her disappearing act, no one in my immediate family would take the bet. This is how the holiday's go in my family. What can I say, we're sick.