How I tried to make myself worry [alternatively titled: If I learned how to read, I might just get by in life]

I have two finals standing in my way between now and the time that signifies the end of my tuition sponsored legal edumacation. As a third year, I never looked at when the exams were; I didn't care. Constant e-mail reminders were sent out by the law over the past several months: 'March 1 is the deadline to move exam dates, don't forget!'

I wasn't going to look at the exam schedule. What's the point, right? That was until I heard that I might have both exams on the same day. I didn't look at the exam schedule until one month, five days past the deadline to move final days. This tardiness might have caused me to do the impossible: fuck myself.

Time to bite the bullet. This morning, I go to the website. I find the exam schedule link. I click. Adobe Acrobat opens...slowly. As it loads I begin to feel a slight tremor in my stomach [but I realize that that is just the fact that I have yet to eat today]. It opens. The electronic white page is sparsely filled with class titles, professor names, and exam times. I scroll dreading what I might find.

Shit. It's true. Cue flop sweat.

I obviously should have thought this out about 36 days ago. The sad truth has just sunk in. But then I read a little closer: one of the finals that I thought I had was a different section. Saved by the big font that I neglected to thoroughly read.

Here are the numbers: Two finals, five days apart. There are 35 days until I am done with exams. 41 days until commencement. I just want to be done with this.