Sunday, December 03, 2006

Bear Down

This will be a stream of my thoughts on the Bears game today:

First Quarter
1. The Defense looks oh so good
2. Bad Rex has shown up today...this could be a long game
3. Maybe it is time to start drinking
4. Defense good. Charles Tillman must be shot. [After seeing the replay...maybe it is the refs that should be]
5. I'm thinking that the Bears might not cover the spread, thus costing me the bet...that is unless Good Rex comes out of Tom Brady's closet.
6. Ok, I played this matchup on Madden 07 this morning...I put up 49 points on the hapless Vikings...wtf?

Second Quarter
1. Madden 07 passes the time between commercials real nice like [21-0 Bears over Detroit...1:55 left in the 2nd]
2. Damn you Bad Rex. Damn you
3. For those that have been to Soldier Field: "There is a timeout......................on the field]
4. I'll take Kyle Orton over Bad Rex. Please Fox, stop showing how stupid Rex is right now
5. Who needs Rex? I'll take Devin Hester for 6. Bears 7-0
6. The Ice Skating Rink they just showed...fantastic winter date spot in the city.
7. The Bears Run Defense...Sucks
8. Brian Urlacher, your comments on the pussification on the NFL? Roughing the passer? My ass.
9. Bears 7, Pussy Boys from the Land o' Lakes 3
10. This is a question for Pats fans, namely Dicta, how are the Pats losing to Detroit right now???
11. Hook 'em Cedric
12. Bad Rex takes a seat.
13. Fox is having too much fun with a fat man and a telestrator.
14. Maybe that was roughing the pansy Half-Back?
15. Has Bad Rex taken over for the entire special teams mindset? WHAT THE FUCK?
16. Wow. Rex completed a pass to a member of his own team. Take a Bow Rex, Please, you've earned it.
17. The two minute warning brought 2 things that were unexpected: The Bears came out in the shotgun and I lost my shutout in Madden [Bears 21, Detroit 7]

Halftime Thoughts: Bad Rex is here. Bad Bad Rex. No biscuit for you. Of course, Bad Rex, in Madden has 200+ Yards and 3Tds at the half. [Bears 28, Lambs 7]. I'm going to do two things I haven't done in a while right now: eat [nothing since a 4:30 dinner last night] and shower [insert nervous laughter here, since Friday]

Third Quarter
1. Ok, I didn't get to do the things I'd planned at Halftime. I'm still without food and without cleansing. Hopefully the Bears D can come up big 13 or so times and run up the score thus allowing me to take care of these items.
2. Tuck Rule. Flexing Muscle. Illegal Touching. The Namby Pamby calls of Football.
3. Can't put that INT on Rex? Hell yes I can. Bring in Griese.
4. This is just getting painful. How many yards can the Bears give up on the ground?
5. Rex needs to be put out in the field and put out of our misery. Sorry Rex, you are a head case now.
6. Thank God for the Best Pass Defense in the League. Bears 14, The Purple Ground Assault 6.
7. The MVP Ad with Rex Grossman in it makes me want to hurt myself.
8. Speaking of MVP...INT #54. Making up for having Tom Brady make him look like a sissy boy.
9. CEDRIC! Bears 21, Oprah Winfrey in the Color Purple 6.

Fourth Quarter
1. Brad Maynard had a 65 yard punt earlier. Now he pinned the Vikes inside the 5. Nice.
2. SAFETY. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bears 23, Brooks Bollinger Fan Club, 6
3. The Lions are beating the Pats by Eight. Dicta, your thoughts?
4. At some point today, I have to start and complete a seminar presentation that I am giving tomorrow. Football is just much more important.
5. Now that they have a lead, it seems that the Bears Defense has decided to take a hiatus. Great. Just Great.
6. Bears 23, The Team that Parties in the Waters of Lake Minnetonka 13.
7. The Special Teams decides to play like a group that rides the Special Bus. You're better than that.
8. Seems that the Pats don't want to lose to the laughing stock of the NFC. Good for them.
9. The Minnesota QB Carousel looks to move to #3. Woohoo!
10. 2 Minutes Left to go. The Colts lost to Vinsanity and the Titans. The Pats look like they will come through. And St. Louis should be ashamed of themselves.
11. DirecTV just took my East Coast HD feed. Bastards. Time to switch to the locals in its wretched-picture-quality-goodness
12. Fumble. Game. Set. Match.

Final Score: Bears 23, Vikings 13.

The Chicago Bears are your NFC North Champions. Let's get that homefield advantage so I can use my dad's playoff tickets with great aplomb.

I guess I have to do homework, eat, and shower now.