I live with a criminal

My roommate is a successful and stand up guy. He makes good money for a man whose early goal in life was to cook books for Arthur Anderson, I mean being an accountant. He is very responsible and he cares deeply about his family. This is why he co-signed his brother’s loan to get a truck several years ago. This truck has now shuffled off this mortal coil and was sold several months ago, but since then there have been some transfer of title issues with said truck. Paperwork, as my roommate can attest to, will forever be the bane of human existence

So, fast-forward to the weekend. My roommate goes to do some work near the Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois Borders [BFE]. He is on his way home Saturday night. He has his cruise control set at 70 in a 65.

Enter the fuzz.

My roommate gets pulled over. The old, crotchety officer gets out of his car and starts screaming at him for having the testicular fortitude to pass a cop while speeding.

As a side note, my roommate doesn’t ever go more then 5 mph faster then the speed limit thanks to me. 5 years ago, before he and I were roommates, we took a trip to Champaign and I said, ‘Dude, you can definitely go 15 over.’ Needless to say he is still pissed about having to go to driving school in Bourbonnais. But I digress…

Enter Fuzz #2. My roommate is sitting in his car wondering what in the hell is going on. Not only was he stopped barely going over the speed limit, but the stop is taking for-fucking-ever. The cops walk up to his car, “Sir, please step out of the vehicle” There must be a mistake. “There is no mistake, we ran your license three times.” What the fuck? “Sir, we are placing you under arrest” For what? “Driving with a suspended license” What???

Turns out that his brother’s truck, which had been sold, had not gone in for emissions testing. As co-signor of the loan was on the hook for this snafu. His license was thereby suspended [oh yeah, the state kindly decided not to let him know about this]

Handcuffs, finger prints, and mug shots. He was tossed into a holding cell with a few savory gentlemen and held until his mother came and bailed him out.

His court date is the day after his birthday.

But the police got him an early birthday present: they dropped the speeding ticket.