In Lieu of Taking Class Notes, Here are Notes on my Class

Two men walk into my night class. Three facts for your consideration:
1) They are wearing identical pink polos
2) They are currently sitting side by side
3) They are sharing books

Discuss
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This is class #6, I have yet to take notes and I am not thinking that I am going to start today. Or at all.
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One of my friends has rated his alcohol-to-be-able-to-sleep-with-the-professor at a Fifth. That's a fifth of Jack, not fifth drink. I had better be legally dead before I followed suit.
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When a man says, "It's so cold my nipples hurt," it is really fucking cold in the classroom.
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I am starting to wonder how the two girls that the professor keeps calling "Mister [Insert Last Name Here]' are feeling.
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Summer Night Class Rule #1: When you are not paying attention in class, always know where the professor is standing. Always.