Conversations with my roommate

The Scene opens as I am fixing dinner, my roommate has just arrived home:

My Roommate: You know how straight I am.

Me: Yes…why are y…

My Roommate: So let me tell you about this cock I saw at the health club today. Biggest cock I have ever seen. It was huge. 8 inches flaccid. FLACCID! I was just staring, I couldn’t believe the size on that thing. It was a girthy flaccid penis. It was a horse cock.

Me: Damn.

My Roommate: He was just standing there, flaunting it. [Pauses for a few seconds] Shit, if I had a dick like that I would walk around naked all day [Pauses again] I should have complimented him…I wonder how he wears underwear. I bet he’s got to roll that thing up like a cigarette. [Picks up his cell phone] I’m going to tell everyone about this cock. [Looks up as he is dialing] At least eight inches no lie