Friday, April 07, 2006

The Namby Pamby Translates the newly found Gospel of Judas

Fellow Homeboys,

So there we were, sitting in one of the followers houses, just taking it easy. The J-man and I were finishing off the last of the wine when He sprung this idea on me:

Judas, why don’t you turn Me over to Pilot.
What you talking ‘bout, Jesus? You sure that wine isn’t playing tricks on You or anything?”
No man, I gotta do this thing for Dad. It’s either We get to do this way, or I figure that I can go around de-pantsing a bunch of Pharisees. You know how they are…you de-pants them once and discover they are going commando, they lose their sense of humor.
“But how should We do it?”
Maybe you approach with the hoards of soldiers and I’ll be like ‘I knew it was you Judas, you broke My heart. broke My heart…and that’s when you move towards Me and deliver a loving peck on My forehead. Then they lead Me off and We have a good laugh about it over some wine a few days later.

Needless to say, I wasn’t too keen on this idea. I didn’t want the rest of the 12 thinking I had gone Brokeback Crucifixion and all. But you know, Jesus was quite the persuasive figure. He pushed harder and I finally was ready to go along with His crazy idea. It was getting late when he added a few last words of wisdom that I don’t understand:
Well, you should probably write all this down just in case someone doesn’t understand what you did.”
“You think?”
I’m not saying…but I’m sayin
“Why wouldn’t people understand?”
I dunno…it’s just a thought. Besides every one else is writing stuff down these days. Matthew, Mark, Luke and Phil
“You mean Paul right?”
So that’s what happened this night. I am not sure what Jesus was thinking in asking me to do this for Him. But looking at the bright side, I’ll get the disciples rent paid with the money that the Priests will give me. Hope all is well with you on your side.

Love, peace, and unleaven bread,

Br. Judas “J-Iscizzle” Iscariot

p.s. I’m sending this via Roman mail. Maybe I should have used FedEx? I hope this gets to you in due time.