Monday, February 20, 2006

How I dealt with 'That guy' on today's commute

Throughout the day, you encounter certain types of people each day: nice people, mean people, stupid people, me, etc. etc. These people interact with you in various ways, some for good and others for bad. Anyways, on the train this morning, there was 'that guy.'

I knew that there was going to be trouble the moment I laid eyes on him. He got on the stop after I did. He was wearing a Yankee Blue Skullcap. Dorky looking glasses. Jeans. Dress Shirt. Popped collar. 6 Foot, 150 lbs. He had a copy of the Wall Street Journal in his hand. The train was full. Not overpacked. But standing room only type of full. He started off his time on the train by taking two steps into the train car and stopping; thereby causing about 5 or 6 others to be unable to get on the train. Just a total douchebag move. I hate douchebags like this. Finally, a man with much less patience then politely screams at him, 'MOVE BUDDY!' I was in the middle of the aisle, just chilling to some Chingon (Robert Rodriguez's Band...great music), when he took up a position right behind me. Douchebag Alert Level Red.

'That guy' proceeds to open up the WSJ and hits three people in the face with his paper. He starts reading. The train starts moving. He isn't holding on to anything and promptly falls into me. Fine. That's okay. Accidents happen. I'll let it slide. 10 Seconds later, I see him turn a page with both hands. He falls into me again. 30 Seconds later. Again. And then again. He has no balance on this train because he continually is not holding on to anything. I am 5'11, 170 lbs, and I'd like to think that I am solidly built. I've got my feet solidly planted while holding on to a hand hold and his continual clumsiness really poses no threat to me remaining upright. 'That guy' however, does not apologize, does not change his habits, and continues to go about his newspaper. It is on about the ninth or tenth fall that I have had enough.

I anticipate his next fall. I turn ever so slightly. He begins to lose his balance. I lower my shoulder. And plant it in his upper back.

He stopped reading his paper at that point. And grabbed a hand hold.