Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Law Student Letter To Tide

Dear Tide Company,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it ever since I moved out of the house and as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my second year of law school, I find it even better!

In fact, about a week ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt and the surrounding areas covering the table with all my outlines. My inconsiderate and uncaring study mate started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white shirt. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my shirt were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my study partner.

What a relief! Going through exams is bad enough without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.